Rant of the Day: Lyon Are…Shittastic!

By: Inara | April 16th, 2008

Remember the game that Lyon barely won against Valenciennes? Well, two weeks and three games later, Lyon prove that they can play even more fantastically shitty. Hell, they make it look easy!

So if you’ve been wondering why I haven’t been around the last week or so, it’s because Lyon have been embarrassing themselves lately, and I didn’t want to associate myself with that. And seeing how quiet it’s been around here, I’m guessing that I wasn’t the only one.

Perrin has the amazing ability of making easy things difficult.

Last weekend, Lyon drew 1-1 with Rennes at home in one of the worst games I’ve seen in a long time (Anthony Reveillere’s lightened hair made the game almost unbearable). Rennes showed up with the express purpose of getting a draw, and their tactics reflected that. As for Lyon…what tactics? Without Jeremy Toulalan, all of Lyon’s attacking players had to operate more cautiously and help out defensively, but the fact that Lyon was that afraid of Rennes tells you the real story.

Because, and I say this with all due respect to Rennes (and Shazback), Lyon should have won that game despite Toulalan’s absence. Given Lyon’s attacking talent, we shouldn’t have had to rely on Cris to score our only goal. And worse, Lyon conceded in the very last corner in the very last minute of stoppage time. What is this, the U10s?

Then yesterday in the French Cup quarterfinals against Metz (who are officially relegated to L2), Lyon struggled. You read that right. Lyon struggled against Metz. Sure, the first half they dominated (if you can call it that), but from the second half, Lyon had their backs to the wall thanks to Metz constantly attacking (that’s normally an oxymoron). The fact that Lyon had to rely on a single goal by Karim Benzema against the poorest team - by far - in the French top flight is just sad, sad, sad.

It’s no wonder that the rumors of Alain Perrin’s departure are circulating with an almost feverish intensity. Jean-Michel Aulas publicly criticized Perrin last week (he basically said that while he wouldn’t dream of interfering with Perrin’s tactical choices, he had his own ideas), and yesterday, Bernard Lacombe refused to say much about Perrin, just that he had expected Hatem Ben Arfa to start.

And why is Perrin insisting on playing Fred and Benzema together in a 4-3-3 when it’s just not working? Yes, it has potential, but it hasn’t yielded good enough results to make benching Ben Arfa worthwhile. If Perrin wants to play two strikers, use a fricking 4-4-2. Why use one of the best strikers in the world as a winger? That makes no sense from a tactical perspective given how much it restricts Benzema, who is a far better player than Fred. What are we, Barcelona and Chelsea?

A rare Ben Arfa sighting.

As for Ben Arfa…WTF guys? He didn’t even come on as a sub against Metz. Perrin’s excuse is that Sidney Govou and Kader Keita (who are competing for one spot as it is) are in better shape. Puh-leeassse. So the guy had a couple bad games. That doesn’t mean Ben Arfa should be benched for the rest of his life. If that were the case, Govou would have been in a convent by now. Ben Arfa can’t be expected to return to top form if he doesn’t play. And yet Perrin won’t play him because he’s not in top form.

Just. Go. Away. Alain. Or get a brain transplant. Or a lobotomy. Anything to stop the idiocy.

Edit: If you want to hear more ranting on this subject, check out this week’s episode of the Offside’s Podcast, where I join Christian, Ryan, and Ian to talk about Lyon’s bungled title race and the crime of Perrin’s 4-3-3, as well as the race between Nancy and Marseille and the relegation battle between PSG and Lens.