Florent Malouda is NOT Impressed by Chelsea

By: Inara | December 4th, 2007

Ever since straining his knee ligaments a few weeks ago against Schalke, Florent Malouda has had a lot of time on his hands to do something footballers are normally not encouraged to do – think.

He’s technically a Chelsea player, but the reason he’s unhappy is that he’s been spoiled by the way Lyon take care of their players, which is why I’m gleefully posting this. And no, I’m not going to wag my finger and say, “I told you so, Flo.”

So what has Malouda’s knickers in a twist? Well, a lot of things actually. First of all, he was annoyed with the fact that Chelsea didn’t send a plane to pick him up after the France game against Lithuania. In fact, they never pick him up after international games. But Arsenal send a private plane for their players. That’s not fair, right?

And then you have Lyon, who not only send a plane but also send a member of their staff to personally accompany players back (which I think is to prevent them from getting drunk and having sex with prostitutes in those post-match shenanigans).

But Chelsea apparently left all the travel plans to Malouda, which he did not appreciate. Getting from Nantes to London is actually quite complicated, and footballers are not paid to think, you know.

Even more shocking is the way Chelsea conduct themselves at training.

“Training sessions here are terrifying. They are just like matches, and you go flat out. During the actual games it is as though everybody’s brains are switched off. People play by instinct, spontaneously, in the way they did when they first discovered football.”

So basically he’s saying that his teammates are stupid. I think anyone could have told him that.

Malouda also doesn’t like the way the club handles a player’s nutrition. And when I say “handle” I mean not doing anything at all. He was stunned that Chelsea don’t regulate the diet of their players and was shocked at what his teammates eat – they even drink coke! ZOMG!!111!!1

But he of course is grateful that at 27, he’s used to following his Lyon diet. Also added to his unhappiness is that it took him forever to get a phone line installed – he still doesn’t have cable TV! But at Lyon, it only took him a day to get everything installed. Traffic in London is also very bad, and sometimes he has to take the subway to training! And then to make everything worse, Chelsea didn’t even help him find an apartment or house, whereas Lyon provide accommodation.

Okay, I have to say it. I TOLD YOU SO!

Just take a break from the whining and admit it, Flo. You miss OL. You miss the team. You miss Juninho. You miss the love you got from the club and the fans. You even miss me blogging about you. But whatever. I’m sure that £50,000 per week salary is going a long way in helping you get over Lyon.

On a serious note though, there is something to be said about personal happiness in a city, and no matter what someone says about the club, it can’t be denied that Lyon’s a great place to live. Many of the players at OL, especially the older, married ones, love to city too much to leave. Hence Cris, Gregory Coupet, and Juninho being content to not just end their careers at Lyon but live here afterwards as well. It’s why Eric Abidal wants to return to Lyon after he’s done with his Barcelona stint. And not only that, but many former players come back to live in the city as well. Granted the sporting challenge might be greater at Chelsea, but at the end of the day, if you aren’t happy in a place, then you’ll never settle.