Gerard Houllier For Hire!

By: Inara | April 16th, 2007

Yes, even you can hire Gerard Houllier to appear at your events!

Thanks to the odd British obsession with lookalikes, it appears that Liverpool reject (and now Lyon manager) Gerard Houllier is important enough to have his own lookalike!

Green

Will the real Gerard Houllier please stand up?

Clive Green does look a lot like dear old Ged, and they apparently share the same height and build. And if necessary, he can even speak with a fake French accent!

So what can Gerard Houllier’s lookalike do for you?

Clive will appear at your event or function, accurately dressed, and appearing to be the Famous Frenchman. You may want to use this as a photo opportunity for customers, attract attention to a product or service, create brand awareness, or meet and greet customers, or just have some fun at a Stag or Hen Night.

Clive will make a speech, learn a script or deliver a message to add extra impact to your Product launch, Exhibition or Conference. Announcements can be made in an English accent, or with a mock French accent if required.

Clive will deliver a training programme for your staff, either your own material or a specially designed course.

I’m sure this will be a relief to Lyon president Jean-Michel Aulas, who has been desperately shouting from the rooftops that Houllier will still be Lyon’s manager next year. So in the event that Houllier gets canned (as I’m sure Hatem Ben Arfa and Sylvain Wiltord are hoping), Aulas will have proved that he’s not a liar.

The conspiracy theorist in me sees a lot of possibilities. Maybe Houllier can take USMNT job while Remi Garde and Joel Bats take over at Lyon. And then Clive Owen can show up for the matches to pace on the sidelines.

Because, you know, this plan sounds so much more reassuring than actually having the real Houllier on the Lyon bench next year.

Some Related Lyon Posts:

Category: Jean-Michel Aulas, Just for Fun, Team News and Rumors

« Lyon manages one goal in France’s drought | Home | Milan Baros is obnoxious, Lyon plays like crap »

Allez Lyonnais

"Manager’s authority should be respected I agree, but to what extent. He should never ever complain about a player in the media though, that creates more problems then good."

Diarra and his agent are the ones who crossed the line by publicly bitching about Houllier. No manager is going to just sit there and take the shit.

"As for Fred, if he was late then he needs to be punished, but what strikers were available for the upcoming game? A fine may have been a better way to deal with it, because even though Wiltord played as the striker, Fred may have had more impact."

Houllier is basically telling him to cut the attitude. Fine won't do it, you know that.

"Ben Arfa needs patience and refinement, and Houllier is not known for developing youth players, he buys players. So banishing Ben Arfa to the reserves means he may just leave Lyon for greener pastures, and no one can deny he is as much the future of Lyon as Benzema or Clerc is."

You got it all wrong here. Houllier is renowned for working with and developing youth players as he had been in charge of Clairefontaine academy for many many years as the technical director. On the other hand, he was heavily criticized for wasting money on bad signings when he was at Liverpool.

"I do not want Houllier driving away all of the players that can keep Lyon at the top because of personal problems with them. Be professional, pick your players on merit not opinion."

Houllier has not driven away anybody and he picks his players based on merit. That is exactly why Ben Arfa and Diarra couldn't see much first team action.
Corey

Manager's authority should be respected I agree, but to what extent. He should never ever complain about a player in the media though, that creates more problems then good. It also does not fit in with the family like atmosphere that has characterized Lyon for many years. Le Guen was strict, maybe more so then Houllier, but he never said anything to the press about a player. As for Fred, if he was late then he needs to be punished, but what strikers were available for the upcoming game? A fine may have been a better way to deal with it, because even though Wiltord played as the striker, Fred may have had more impact. Ben Arfa needs patience and refinement, and Houllier is not known for developing youth players, he buys players. So banishing Ben Arfa to the reserves means he may just leave Lyon for greener pastures, and no one can deny he is as much the future of Lyon as Benzema or Clerc is. I do not want Houllier driving away all of the players that can keep Lyon at the top because of personal problems with them. Be professional, pick your players on merit not opinion.
Allez Lyonnais

The only backroom tension I keep hearing is the one between Diarra (and Fred, perhaps) and Houllier. Everything else has to do with crybabies who are whining their ways out of the club.
Allez Lyonnais

Of course he can complain to the media, send Ben Arfa to the reserves or leave Fred out of the squad. Manager's authority must be respected.

Learn to get around with your boss. Welcome to reality.
Corey

As Inara pointed out, Houllier is not doing much managing. He is alienating players and cast off other ones, and all of this is becoming public, which as we have seen with Real Madrid really hurts a team to the point where it is not a team anymore. Houllier should not be complaining to the media about Diarra or sending Ben Arfa to the reserves or cutting Fred out of the squad because he was late to practice when he was are only available striker! These type of things should be handled internally and you should not piss your players off because they can leave if they dont like it, and then where is the team without its best players?
Allez Lyonnais

Lyon fans have really spoiled themselves, haven't they? So spoiled that the club president has to make sure that they come visit the stadium to celebrate the club's joyous title.

Talking about firing the coach who has brought two consecutive league titles to the club is just blasphemy.
Bob

I know a few Lyon fans who would like to hire him and then publicly torture him.
Corey

Houllier must go, he is killing the attacking style by making tactics defensive and by pissing off all of our best attacking talent and pushing them out the door.
Sam

Haha, that's amazing.