Lyon forgot to take their goalscorers to Valenciennes

By: Inara | April 7th, 2007

Oops.

And once again, Super Fred, Wannabe Magnificent Milan, Last Second Hero Nino, and Boy Wonder Karim have been replaced by pod people in yet another scoreless match.

Houllier realizes that he forgot to tell his strikers to score during the pre-match briefing.

Despite boasting about 100 shots on goal to Valencienne’s 2, the OL players couldn’t actually make the ball go into the net.

The funny thing is that Lyon had a pretty good game. Really, they did. It featured flashes of the classy Lyon we all know and love, featuring some fabulous passes, stepovers, free kicks, and all around cool moves. And Valenciennes – well, they put ten men behind the ball and did their best to clog up Lyon’s attacking intent, rarely venturing out of their own half.

I’ve seen this a lot recently. Lyon will dominate the game, have the best chances, basically own the pitch, and do all the hard work to get the ball into the 18 yard box. But then, for some reason, they are unable to get the ball into the net. It’s like there is a miscalibrated compass inside of them, so even when they think they’re shooting towards the goal, they’re really not.

Instead, all their shooting just makes the opposing goalkeepers look really good.

Aargh.

In the league, Lyon scored 39 goals in the first half of the season, but since January, they have only scored 15. And that’s ignoring very important non-league matches, such the Champions league knockout rounds and the Coupe de la Ligue final, where Lyon also failed to score. Since January, Lyon has failed to score in six matches. They have suffered six losses, five ties, and only seven wins (18 matches in four competitions). In one month alone, Lyon was booted from three cup competitions.

That, my friends, is Lyon’s relegation form. If it weren’t for the huge point cushion they established before winter break, there still would be a title race in France.

But it’s not entirely Lyon’s fault either. It’s just the nature of the French game. For all the talk about Italians being defensive, Ligue 1 has the lowest goals-per-game ratio among the ten major football leagues in Europe, including the Champions League. England, Spain, and Italy’s top strikers have scored near 20 goals, while our top striker, Steve Savidan, has only 13, and four of those goals are due to a freak match against Nantes.

Why is that? Besides France being the breeding ground of some of the world’s best defenders and goalkeepers, it’s the mentality itself: that it’s more important to prevent another team from scoring than to take chances. And that a 0-0 draw is a good result. I know Houllier is always complaining about this when he loses, but he does have a point. When a team wins by being defensive, it stops being “the beautiful game.”

Anyway, enough with dwelling in the past. Back to match information. Cris and Malouda picked up stupid yellow cards. And worse, both Jeremy Toulalan and Karim Benzema had to leave the field due to injuries (someone studded Toulalan’s knee with his cleats, while Benzema’s thigh flaired up again).

Bad news? We”ll find out tomorrow. For coverage on the rest of Ligue 1, Sam will keep you updated at The France Offiside.